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Q:
Suppose that
I am not happy with
mediation? A: Unlike a judge, a mediator has no power. He (or she) does not have the power to make any decisions in your life. (Unlike a judge, he doesn't even have the power to make you attend the meetings.) That being the case, you are free to stand up and leave at any time. Thus, you do not have to worry whether your worst fears will be realized, or that the mediation will go in a direction that you do not like. Should that occur (and it very unlikely that it will), you are always free to terminate it. All that you have to do is stand up and leave. The same is not true with an adversarial divorce proceeding, however. To be sure, you may have all of the power to start it. However, once it has begun, it takes on a life of its own. Moreover, rather than being the principal players, as you will be in divorce mediation, the two of you will be but bit players in the wings of the drama that you have set in motion. As those who have turned to adversarial legal proceedings will tell you, you will literally have no control over those proceedings. On the contrary, it will become like a runaway train, and it will be almost impossible for either of you to stop it. The question that you really should be asking yourself, therefore, is what you will do if you are not happy with the adversarial divorce proceedings that you have set in motion? Unfortunately, since you will have lost all control of those proceedings once you have started them, there is no answer to that question. That is very frightening. |
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